The Eating Habits of the Typical 5th Grade Boy

Today was my brother's 11th birthday party, me being the big sister that I am, was dragged kicking and screaming to Vernon Lanes to accompany my brother and his 9 close friends. Now before you think that things turned for the worst, I have to say my life saver arrived in all her glory, Julie Soloman. She is the one person who kept my sanity throughout this ordeal, so this entry is dedicated to her. Surprisingly, we both escaped without being maimed or subject to evil or devilish tricks. While sitting on our little table island, we learned and observed several new things about these 5th grade boys:

1. They huddle in packs and are quite loud, louder than say another b-day party group of girls to the left of them.

2. Chucking the bowling ball at the lane floor can be very effective at times, even though the ball is going at 4.2 mph.

3. If said ball is stuck, chuck some more bowling balls at the stuck bowling ball until there is a big mess of bowling balls in the lane.

4. Soda=trouble, enough said.

5. When they proceed to the arcade, these boys will use all means necessary to win a game of chance arcade game, i.e. bang on the coverings, tackle the machine so the ball will move in the desire spot, or continual yelling at the machine.

6. Now when these 5th grade boys have used up all their tokens, they will employ any means necessary to gain some more, such as constant begging, pleading, sweet talking, etc.

7. If all actions in #6 fail to work, these boys will sprawl themselves all over the arcade floor looking underneath the machines for any loose tokens, in which surprisingly they found a total of ten.

8. Tokens belonging to another 5th grader are untouchable, dropped tickets however are fair game.

Now for the main topic of my entry. When I first saw these fifth grade boys enter into the bowling alley, they didn't seem too big, I mean 2 pizzas and 2 pitchers of soda are probably enough for the 10 of them considering their tiny size. BOY, was I WRONG! Now the following events are a bit graphic, so I would not recommend reading the next part if you are 9 or younger. Now the pizza would be coming a bit late, my mom being the sweet person that she is wanted to order fries to hold them over. SO we took a consensus which was answered with an uproar of enthusiasm. As our hostess brought out the two plate of fries I can only compare the following events to a pack of ravenous wolves descending on their prey or maybe even hungry seagulls swooping down and gathering to fight over leftover food. One boy seemed to just inhale the fries, quickly eating the fries then washing them down with sips of soda in between. Another boy grabbed the fries and proceeded to eat them with both hands. Then another stole the last few of the fries and put them all in his mouth. and of course who ever heard of the invention of napkins, all the boys just systematically wiped their greasy hands on their pants. This behavior continued for the 3rd, 4th and finally 5th plate of fries then after each plate they would rush up in a line for soda. But not only did they stop at fries, they each had at least two pieces of pizza as well as cake. I gravely underestimated the eating habits of the fifth grade boy, I warn you not to do the same because next time it might end in mutiny or rebellion for more food.

Food Nazis

We consider Nazis as the loyal subjects of Adolf Hitler and his persecution of Jews, however, now there are a new breed of nazis...the food nazis. These Food Nazis first appeared at a Hillhouse invitational in New Haven, which I have to say has impecable indoor track facilities. When we first encountered these food nazis, they wore noticeably yellow jackets, therefore allowing us amble time to hide our food as they approached closer. However, ever since last year these Food Nazis have gotten smarter and more cunning and are now incognito/camouflaged. Ever since then we have had countless of incidents with these food nazis:

Incident One: Last year...
Sherry having a profound love for puppy chow bought a Sam's Club sized bag of Chex Mix (if you don't know what a Sam's Club sized bag means, it just is teh regular bag of chex mix times 3, quite huge). Now Sherry after running all of her necessary races takes out this huge bag and starts snacking on these delicious Chex Mix. Here is then what happened:
Food Nazi walks up to Sherry in the mezzanine bleachers and spots Sherry with her bag of chex mix. Walks over towards her...
Food Nazi: Can I have that?
Sherry grabs a handful and turns to give him it.
Food Nazi: No...all of it.
Sherry: No, you can't have all of it...
Sherry then hugs the chex bag tightly.
Food Nazi then prys the bag out of her hands, and then throws it in the garbage.
Sherry then goes into a Chex Mix withdrawl and sad/depressed/angry that the food nazi stole her food.


Incident Two:Last Year...
Katie is sitting on the bleachers, eating a package of peanut butter crackers for a good half hour. She then offers me a cracker, and puts the rest away, I twist off the top to save the last peanut buttery goodness for last. Food nazi dressed in black walks up and makes his way up to the bleachers without my knowing. He then stops right in front of me, sticks out his hand, glares at me, then sadly I put my half eaten cracker in the palm of his hand.

Incident Three: This afternoon...
Food nazi dressed in white, petit young woman, weaves her way in and out through the bleachers, snatching gatorade, which are innocently sitting around, and chucks them in the garbage. She then progresses to go through each area of the bleachers, and through the different teams and systematically collects all things edible until she is holding a big load of food. Then she throws everything out.

Who would have thought that nazis still exist in the guise of food snatchers, have they no mercy for the several track and field participants who just want a little snack to provide them for fruitful energy for their next event. I now conclude that food nazis are the next evil, and that all should beware, because there's a possibility that they could be coming to your town.

You jump, I jump Jack

Now who in this world would ever think to voluntarily jump into freezing, ice cold water of their own free will? I seem to recall the movie Titanic where several people were forced to jump into the ice cold depths of the cold Atlantic Ocean. However, this act was out of necessity. I remember once being told that jumping into cold water in the mid of winter is like the water hitting your body like a thousand daggers, now who in the world would submit themselves to this kind of torture?

Well, the answer is me, now I am one of those crazy people who are going to jump into the freezing cold water for the Penguin Plunge. But of course, this is for a good cause, cause there would be no way in hell they would get me to jump in a freezing cold lake for nothin'. On February 25th I'll be joining the rest of my fellow NHS members and take the plunge for charity. Although granted we all have to sign a liability waiver which basically states in case of injury or death you will not sue...now doesn't this sound reassuring?

First entry...

I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship...with blogger. Now honestly you're welcome to read my ramblings here, and perhaps from time to time I'll be compelled to write something really intriquing, ridiculous or gasp* something controversial even...or perhaps my stories will be subject to slight exageration for the public's entertainment. I can't say that I'm overly excited about this blog, but first things' first, I am a xanga traitor. There was a time when I did use xanga and was actually rather good at updating it, but however no more, now my xanga page has whithered and died and has gone to the blog heaven, where all forgotten, boring, and un-updated blogs go. Therefore, I am starting anew with blogger. Hopefully this blog will turn out better than the lost and departed soul of my xanga site...