The Eating Habits of the Typical 5th Grade Boy

Today was my brother's 11th birthday party, me being the big sister that I am, was dragged kicking and screaming to Vernon Lanes to accompany my brother and his 9 close friends. Now before you think that things turned for the worst, I have to say my life saver arrived in all her glory, Julie Soloman. She is the one person who kept my sanity throughout this ordeal, so this entry is dedicated to her. Surprisingly, we both escaped without being maimed or subject to evil or devilish tricks. While sitting on our little table island, we learned and observed several new things about these 5th grade boys:

1. They huddle in packs and are quite loud, louder than say another b-day party group of girls to the left of them.

2. Chucking the bowling ball at the lane floor can be very effective at times, even though the ball is going at 4.2 mph.

3. If said ball is stuck, chuck some more bowling balls at the stuck bowling ball until there is a big mess of bowling balls in the lane.

4. Soda=trouble, enough said.

5. When they proceed to the arcade, these boys will use all means necessary to win a game of chance arcade game, i.e. bang on the coverings, tackle the machine so the ball will move in the desire spot, or continual yelling at the machine.

6. Now when these 5th grade boys have used up all their tokens, they will employ any means necessary to gain some more, such as constant begging, pleading, sweet talking, etc.

7. If all actions in #6 fail to work, these boys will sprawl themselves all over the arcade floor looking underneath the machines for any loose tokens, in which surprisingly they found a total of ten.

8. Tokens belonging to another 5th grader are untouchable, dropped tickets however are fair game.

Now for the main topic of my entry. When I first saw these fifth grade boys enter into the bowling alley, they didn't seem too big, I mean 2 pizzas and 2 pitchers of soda are probably enough for the 10 of them considering their tiny size. BOY, was I WRONG! Now the following events are a bit graphic, so I would not recommend reading the next part if you are 9 or younger. Now the pizza would be coming a bit late, my mom being the sweet person that she is wanted to order fries to hold them over. SO we took a consensus which was answered with an uproar of enthusiasm. As our hostess brought out the two plate of fries I can only compare the following events to a pack of ravenous wolves descending on their prey or maybe even hungry seagulls swooping down and gathering to fight over leftover food. One boy seemed to just inhale the fries, quickly eating the fries then washing them down with sips of soda in between. Another boy grabbed the fries and proceeded to eat them with both hands. Then another stole the last few of the fries and put them all in his mouth. and of course who ever heard of the invention of napkins, all the boys just systematically wiped their greasy hands on their pants. This behavior continued for the 3rd, 4th and finally 5th plate of fries then after each plate they would rush up in a line for soda. But not only did they stop at fries, they each had at least two pieces of pizza as well as cake. I gravely underestimated the eating habits of the fifth grade boy, I warn you not to do the same because next time it might end in mutiny or rebellion for more food.